I keep trying to soothe a feeling I cannot name.

This is grief. It has just changed shape. It no longer arrives as sharp devastation, but as an unnamed ache. A longing for something long gone.

The grief no longer feels like a body being riddled with bullets. Instead it’s more like a low-grade fever. The kind of thing that goes unnoticed because, from the outside, I’m functioning. Answering emails. Showing up. Laughing at the right moments.

But internally, something is off.

I wonder if what I’m really reaching for is my mother.

Not just her, but everything a mother is. Safety. Witnessing. Unconditional familiarity and being known without explanation.

Maybe this new grief is partially the realization that there are certain forms of comfort the world never fully replaces. And maybe that is why the yearning feels impossible to satisfy. Because I am not craving a place or a meal or a distraction.

I am craving a feeling. A person. A version of being held that no longer exists in the same form.

Like reaching for a phantom limb.

She felt everything all at once. Emotions swirling together like multiple cans of paint tipped on their sides. Colors pouring out, mingling, forming something new. Grief, sadness, loneliness, joy, abandonment, hope, fear, guilt. All of it.

She wished for someone to help her understand what this was. But she began to understand that no one else could full…

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And right now, it feels like Change is visiting most of us. It’s showing up everywhere. Politics, career, family, finances, friendships, relationships, even the way we’re thinking about ourselves. It’s not being selective.

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This reading is organized by the seasons of the year. For each one, I pulled a three-card spread reflecting the past, present, and future, plus the bottom of the deck, which points to the underlying energy shaping the whole picture. So find the month you were born in and read the collective energy for the month of May.

As always, read these messages with discernment. Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. No forcing insight.

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There are people here helping me. Family, I think. I can feel them more than I can see them. I know my mother is here even if she doesn’t fully appear. Just a presence. Just a knowing.

The apartment feels unfinished, like it hasn’t decided what it is yet. I’m moving furniture around, trying to make things fit. Trying to ma…

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This is literally how I feel.

Tired. A bit run down. Low energy. Emotionally full in a way that feels heavy, not expressive. Just like this plastic bag with water sitting at the bottom. Not overflowing, not spilling over, just heavy where it co…

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There was a pup named Pi.

I am he and he is I.

He was small, soft, and covered in hair

That flopped in the wind whenever it stirred.

My human would say I was the apple of her eye

But mischief was the glint in mine.

For I am an explorer, you see

Traveling for the first time to this place of earthlings.

Excited to be here, always searching for more

But bound and u…

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This reading is organized by astrological modalities. For each one, I pulled a three-card spread reflecting the past, present, and future, plus the bottom of the deck, which points to the underlying energy shaping the whole picture.

As always, read these messages with discernment. Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. No forcing insight.

Today’s reading is using the Uusi Pagan Otherworld Deck. You can find shop here.

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Are you familiar with the story of Orpheus and Eurydice? It’s a Greek mythology, part parable, part warning wrapped in tragedy. I’ve heard it told various ways, often showing up in other works like Shakespeare, tv shows like Netflix’s The Sandman, or movies like Hamnet, but it’s almost always framed the same way: as a love story. But what struck me rece…

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She moved steadily through the foliage, brushing past clusters of blue iris and low-spilling creeping jenny that curled along the earth like it had nowhere else to be. The narrow leaves noticed her and whispered against her skin as a branch here and there grazed the thin fabric of her white nightgown. The damp ground still held the day’s warmth beneath her bare feet, even as the evening air began to cool.

Finally, she came upon the clearing. The one she had been searching for.

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But I’m aware that there is a small group of folks who are living life like everything is normal, routine…just another day. If that’s you please kindly hit the back button at the top left of this screen and quietly take your leave.

This story is for all the dreamers, manifestors, lo…

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The night sky stretches wide in front of her, framed within the tall arched window pane. A deep velvet blue stitched with stars. They blink slowly, patiently, as if they’ve been waiting for her to notice them.

Time loosens its grip in the quiet.

The room breathes with her.

Short inhale.

Long exhale.

For a moment, the…

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This reading is organized by birth order. For each one, I pulled a three-card spread reflecting the past, present, and future, plus the bottom of the deck, which points to the underlying energy shaping the whole picture.

As always, read these messages with discernment. Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. No forcing insight.

Today’s reading features The Infinite Door tarot deck. You can shop it here.

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She was fae, although not the delicate creature the human tales had turned her into. She was a true warrior, forged of elder magic, a sentinel of clarity, a keeper of the unseen.

She was tired from battle, her wings heavy after the long fight, but the …

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A dense, old forest surrounds us, where the trees lean in like elders who’ve heard everything. And in the center sits a woman.

She is perched on a tree stump that has shape-shifted itself into a chair just for her…because of course it would. The forest knows her. The moss knows her. Even th…

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I think it started early.

Needing to eat our veggies but choosing French fries.

Sitting in the salon chair thinking bangs are a good idea.

Dating the guy everyone warns you about instead of the nice one who actually calls when he says.

There’s a pattern here.

Right now, the good medicine I can’t seem to take is medi…

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Valentine’s Day, as we currently know it, started taking shape in the 14th and 15th centuries as a day for couples to express their love. Its true origin is theorized to be much darker (which is a delicious rabbit hole if you’re so inclined).

But we won’t get into that now.

What I will say is this: Examining the shadow of things has been fruitful work for…

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Each month, these readings will move through a different lens. We’ll rotate between:

• Astrological Elements (Air, WaterFire, Earth, Air, Water)

• Birth Order (Oldest, Middle, Youngest, Only)

• The Wheel of the Year (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall)

• Astrological Modalities (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable)

This is one of the things paid subscribers make possible.

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How do you know when it’s the end?

Does an inner alarm go off?

Does God whisper in your ear?

How do you know when it’s time to move on?

Is there a sign?

A symbol in the distance that shows the way?

How do you know when a chapter has closed?

Do the words stop chasing each other across the page?

Does the absence of thought signal the end?

Or is it something qui…

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And yet, there is something.

For me, it was realizing I’d spent years living neck-up: my mind and emotions riding in the front seat, whi…

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