Ghosted by Abundance

When you’re bougie but on a budget

I swear I watched abundance walk out the front door after months of repeated loss. It didn’t just leave quietly either. It slammed the door, like even it was tired of everything being stripped away.

A big part of my identity has always been tied to my love of beautiful things. Not just shopping — the collecting of beautiful things. The stuff that makes you hum Ariana’s I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it under your breath while hitting checkout. That dopamine hit. That quick little thrill of self-expression.

But now? I’m on a budget that doesn’t allow for Friday night retail therapy. And that loss stings.

The gag is, I’ve never loved shopping. I’ve loved finding beauty. Creams, oils, scents that hold memory. Cashmere that feels like it’s petting you back. 100% cotton pajamas so light they almost float. I fall in love a dozen times a day and I’m used to pulling every single one of those loves close to me.

When abundance leaves, it feels like it packs up all those little luxuries in its shiny Rimowa suitcase and takes them with it.

Or so I thought.

One night, as I lit a candle and watched the shadows dance across my bedroom wall, it hit me: I’d been staring at the door abundance walked out of for so long, I stopped seeing what was actually here. All the little luxuries I’d already gathered, just waiting for me to notice them again.

I walked to my dresser, opened a drawer, and started pulling out treasures I bought without thinking, back when I could. Things I’m now so grateful to have.

And it’s not just me feeling the drought. The world feels expensive and on fire. That COS cashmere sweater I bought two years ago for $250? Now it’s $459. I paused mid-scroll to thank past-me for going on that cashmere binge when I did.

Cos sweater

Now I spend more time being thankful for the beauty that already lives here. The little luxuries scattered across my desk. My Rhode glazing fluid. The tuberose Diptyque candle I light at night. The Ralph Lauren sweaters that are still so soft. My lavender-scented, mint-green bunny I curl around at night.

Ralph Lauren Sweater, XL Zander Bunny, Diptyque Candle, Matches, Rhode Glazing Fluid

Abundance never really leaves. It just stops knocking on my door every week with a new package.

Now it waits quietly in the corners of my closet, in the folds of my dresser, in the things I’ve already given myself.

It’s not gone. It’s here. And so am I.

Also… this Kate Hudson TikTok is basically whispering, ‘Same, babe.’